I don’t need these new laws – I’ve already been the victim of a hate crime

Like the police, you’ll just have to take my word for it

Ringing in the New Year

We started our New Year in 2018 with a wonderful surprise. A broken lock on the back door, a bare looking sideboard, a distinct lack of keys on hooks and a space where my car once was. Despite knowing this was an obviously pointless exercise, it is apparently still the done thing to contact the Police in these instances, so I did so. They came round, were perfectly nice, wrote some stuff down and declared they were unlikely to be able to do anything about it. As if I didn’t already know that.

In my hazy, angry state, I almost totally glossed over a question the gentleman in black asked me.

“Do you believe this was a hate crime?”

If my very poor memory is anything to go by, I answered straightforwardly, “no”. I regret that now. I wish I’d had the presence of mind to give him the answer he wasn’t expecting. I wish I’d been able to look directly into the face of an obviously intelligent, well-meaning officer of the state and give him the stupid, flippant, but ultimately unquestionable answer I was perfectly entitled to give.

“Yes mate. I do”

Although perhaps I might have had the temerity to answer in the Soviet style that I assume at some point in my later life we will all be forced to respond to the authorities whenever we interact with one of their number:

“Yes. I’m a straight, white male. ID number 5682911. This was definitely a hate crime”

What more evidence could you need?

Because, of course, that’s all it takes. Did you think it was a hate crime? Then it was a hate crime. Do you have any evidence for that assertion? You don’t need any. Will that be officially recorded, no questions asked? You bet it will.

This is from the official operational guidance for the police: “Evidence of… hostility is not required for an incident or crime to be recorded as a hate crime or hate incident… the victim does not have to justify or provide evidence of their belief.”

The sheer, obvious nonsense of the hate crime reporting methods is not only silly – it is dangerous. It means that nobody can actually trust the figures and you hand a stick to any disagreeable group that wants to say unpleasant things to beat you with. Frankly, the concept of a hate crime is ludicrous as it is, but that’s a topic for another day.

The Law Commission is currently looking at how the definition of a hate crime can be expanded, to include things like misogyny, hatred of goths and misandry – hostility towards men. So maybe in future I will be able to actually claim a genuine hate crime was inflicted upon me. Frankly I don’t really care – I just want my car back.

But hang on – the headline is that I actually was the victim of a hate crime. Well yes, let’s get to that.

Victims again

Not so long ago my wife and I were subject to another crime. I shan’t go into details, but it was one of the standard ones. And we weren’t murdered if that helps.

It wasn’t urgent immediately after the fact, so I decided to report the crime online rather than wasting the time of a policeperson who may have been busy visiting someone who’d said something mean on Twitter. You can have a look at the Merseyside Police ‘report a crime‘ form for yourselves.

The first question asks about the nature of the crime being reported. The second question – second – is ‘Do you consider this to be a hate crime?’ So I gave my answer. Yes.

I, of course, don’t consider that it was a hate crime for a moment. But how easy was that? I just selected yes and that was it. On to the rest of the form. No questions asked. Ready to be reported as one of the ‘83,000 hate crimes a year‘, ready to be the subject of a Guardian opinion piece. Staggering.

I lied

To be completely honest, I was sorely tempted to click submit. But my conscience just couldn’t take it. Despite knowing that there was no possibility anything would happen to me, I couldn’t actually do it (yes, my headline was clickbait. Let me have just this one?).

It is a real shame that it has to be this way. I think that the next question on the form is much more helpful and can actually provide the plod with more to work with. But they at some point will start to gloss over as well, because it just isn’t robust enough.

I feel for anyone who is subject to any violence, abuse or any crime, and yes I particularly feel for those on whom this behaviour is inflicted because of who they are. It is sickening to read about Muslim families being targeted by bigots, gay people being verbally abused and then physically assaulted, trans people being beaten up. Nothing reduces the horror. But I fear, really fear, that we are doing ourselves no favours with this. It is half painful to feel my eyes roll when I hear the so called ‘statistics’. They simply can’t be trusted. Certainly any increase could easily be attributed to how easy it is becoming to report. Or Brexit, as with most evils.

I don’t know the answer (well…apart from scrapping the notion of a ‘hate crime’…but again, later), and I have no desire to make anything any easier for criminals. But there are plenty of nefarious types who can abuse this sort of thing. I’d really rather they couldn’t.